Dee411 - Cast Down, But Not Destroyed

Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children

A special opening message from Allison Bottke: The interview that follows has been personalized for this particular blog. I want to thank our Blog Host for taking the time to read my newest non-fiction book and for sharing it here today on the Setting Boundaries Blog Tour. You are helping to spread the word about a topic that desperately needs to be addressed—with a message already striking a chord in hearts around the nation.

Our country is in a crisis of epidemic proportion concerning adult children whose lives are spinning out of control—leaving parents and grandparents broken-hearted and confused. This painful issue is destroying individuals, families, marriages, churches, and communities. I believe in my heart that you are reading this message today for a very specific reason. Do you know someone who has an adult child who is always in crisis? An adult child who brings chaos to virtually every situation? Could this painful issue be touching your life today?

Blog Tour: Meet Author Allison Bottke!

Starting on Monday, June 9, 2008 thru Saturday, June 14, 2008 Read Zone Book Reviews will be hosting a Blog Tour for Allison Bottke and her latest book, Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children!

Travel with us as we find out something new about Allison at each stop:

Stop #1 - Monday, June 9, 2008 - Book Zone

What are you thankful for?

With the fast approach of the celebration of Thanksgiving comes the expected question: what are you thankful for?

Each year my answer varies, but adds up to "my family and the fact that I'm still here!" Why so short you ask? Because really, I'm all about keeping it as monosyllabic as possible in order to do my part to keep the clock down and the food warm; cause invariably, there will always be someone who starts back at the year they were born and brings it forward.

This year, prompted by a thread in one of my groups, I'm putting it out there early and taking the time to elaborate a bit.

Mind Management

Hi Folks,

Sorry about my delays. I’ve been a bit distracted lately caught up in an extended bout of mania. My fingers in too many pies and my attention span that of a gnat. I’m not the world’s most organized person to begin with and I know that many have already written succinct and effective articles about time management and countering writer’s block.

However, I come with a different curve to the topic. What I’d like to open to door to discuss today is mind management. I know right about now someone is probably going… ???

Valentine's Day and Updates

Hi Folks,

How has the new year been treating you so far? The remembrance of Martin Luther King Jr's Birthday has come and gone and Valentine's Day and Presidents' Day approach quickly. I just want to wish each and everyone of you a Happy Valentine's Day and hope you enjoy your President's Day off.

If you've been wondering, what has Dee been up to? Well, Dee went out and got herself a J O B! It's only Part Time/Floater status however I've got a feeling that that won't last for long ... stay tuned for future updates.

I've also become pretty active in my new home church. I'm now the Choir Director of the Youth Choir and the newsletter coordinator. My brother-in-law, my former pastor, has been appointed as the New Youth Pastor so we're a team again ... YAY!!!! You can view the newsletter via pdf here or the Blog in progress here: It entailed a month of hard work pulling it together creatively and chasing down folk for submissions or Ad content, however it was great fun and a truly pleasurable undertaking.

Introducing: Allen-Bethel Assistance Corporation

The Allen-Bethel Assistance Corporation is a non-profit organization. The mission of our Corporation is to enhance and improve the quality of life, in the DeKalb County Georgia area, for the elderly, low-income residents, At-Risk youth, and support battered women and their children. Our goal is to teach financial literacy and economic self-sufficiency through the development and facilitation of programmatic initiatives that address the educational, technical, physical, mental and fiscal needs of our adults, children, youth and those of the larger community. ABAC, Inc., was founded in June 2006. Our management team consists of the Board of Directors (President, Vice-President, Secretary, and Treasurer) with the Executive Director.

Finding the Will of God

I desire to do Your will, O my God; Your law is within my heart. ~ Psalm 40:8

How would you describe the process by which you find and do God's will in your life? For some, finding God's will is like playing bumper cars. We keep going in one direction until we bump into an obstacle, turn, and go in another direction. It is a constant process of elimination, failure, or success. Is this the way God would have us find His will? No. There is much more relationship between hearing God's voice and living within the mystery of His omnipotence in our lives. Perhaps this process is more like water in a streambed. The water is constantly flowing to a final destination. As it presses against the streambed, it gently points the water toward its final destination. There are no abrupt head-on collisions, simply slight modifications of direction. Occasionally, we come to a sharp turn in the contours of our life.

Effecting Change

On this day I encourage you to read and reflect on a speech delivered five months before I was born by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. It is a celebration of a milestone in a battle, yet also a signal that the battle is not yet over. We’ve made some progress since then, but when the baton was passed on to our generation … what did we do with it?

Did we run till our feet got blistered or sore? Did we stand up for injustices in our homes, community, churches or jobs? Or did we pass the baton without even trying?

I've never been in the army but I have practiced marching for my "house: Melba” while at school in the West Indies. The same synchronicity and precision was needed and the "house" was as strong or as weak as its slowest, uncoordinated or day dreaming (yes me… LOL) member.

Instead of benching the slow, the uncoordinated or the day dreamer, under the guidance of the coach, the rest of the house encouraged and figured out a way to compensate for the lack of speed, coordination or concentration of that member until each was up to speed. This ensured that the weight of loss or victory of the "house" did not rest solely on the shoulders of the one member, but on the one who lead the house: the coach.

Failure That Leads to Godliness

All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their leader.... ~ 1 Samuel 22:2

God uses broken things to accomplish His greatest work. When David was anointed to be the next king, he was just a boy, the youngest among all his brothers. Little did he know that the next several years would be years of fleeing from Saul whose successes turned into obsessions as a leader who had fallen from God's anointing. Perhaps David thought, "Why am I living a life as a fugitive?” I am the next king of Israel. Yet, his life was filled with adversity after adversity before he ever fulfilled the ultimate calling God had for him. Others began to hear of David's successes and identify with his plight. But, it wasn't the successful and polished who came to join him. It was "those who were in distress or in debt or discontented" who would be part of his army—and an army it was! His army would become known throughout the world as the greatest ever assembled, not because of their skill, but because of the God behind the army. God turned David's men into "mighty men of valor" (see 1 Chron. 11:10).

You Are Not An Accident!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I am your Creator. You were in My care even before you were born. ~Isaiah 44:2a

Day 2 of reading The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren.

How many times in life do we rail at the cir*****stances of our birth? Resent the parents we ended up with? The body parts that don't quite work or fit? Or maybe it's the color of our skin or the part of the world in which we live that we take issue with.

As the last of eight children, with a six year difference between the closest sibling and myself, it really wasn't too hard to figure out that I was an unplanned addition to the family tree. That and the fact that I'd heard it mentioned on numerous occasions. Add to that the fact that I was born in the West Indies, and while my family wasn't poor, we were certainly not living large. I recall the restrictive atmosphere and the feeling of not fitting in because we were "Spiritual Baptists" (whatever that meant).